A Fowl Folly

Sorry - this is a long post, without any photos. Sit back, relax and read-on.
New Year's Day was eventful for us. We spent New Years Eve at the Runyan’s, making use of their home, while they were in Colorado. Our stake had a Stake Temple Day on New Year’s Day. What a great way to begin the New Year! We scheduled to be Ordinance Workers for the day, kind of bittersweet, as this was our last shift before our release. We thought it would be most convenient to be near the temple for our early arrival. The Lyons, and Jared came along too. Jared was kind enough to tend the Lyon’s kids, while they were at the temple (Debbie was not feeling well and stayed home with her critters).
We had been tending Gump for the Runyans – he is their 12 year old Dachshund. He was a perfect gentleman the whole time. We can’t say the same for our Weiner Dog, Weezer. She is a relentless pest. Gump was kind and patient with her.
We took the dogs to Folsom with us, for fear fireworks on New Years Eve would have them out of sorts while we were away.
The Runyans have two chickens – Cindy and JoJo! You may have read about JoJo a while back on Runyan’s blog. She is the chicken who swallowed a shoelace, causing some embarrassment and a big Vet bill for the Runyans.
We enjoyed pizza, snacks and games on New Years Eve, while sadly missing Debbie and the kids. We left early in the morning for the temple and the Lyons soon followed, leaving Jared in charge of 3 wild boys, one cute baby girl, two dogs and two chickens! He is amazing with the kids. Thanks Jared!
Jared got really frustrated with our annoying dog, as she kept going out the doggie door and pestering the chickens, safely fenced inside their coop, – a new thing for her. Gump got used to the chickens long ago!
Finally, Jared had to lock the doggie door and keep Weezer inside. At the appointed time, Jared loaded up the kids and met Emily and Aaron at the temple, as they came out and he went in. When Emily got back to the house, she saw the locked doggie door, and quickly opened it, fearing doggie accidents. Later on, they picked Jared up at the temple to take him back to Runyan's house. We still had a couple of hours to go on our shift.
When Jared got in the car, he found out Emily had let Weezer outside. She had no idea Weezer had been pestering the chickens. They debated who would win in a chicken/dog fight. Jared’s money was on the chickens – as Weezer is only a 7 lb dachshund. Emily figured there was no way Weezer could get the coop opened up.
When they got back to Runyan's they immediately went outside to find - no chickens in the coop and no Weezer in sight. They called for Weezer and she soon came around a corner – with feathers stuck to her face. Jared then found JoJo, the black and white chicken, dead in the side yard. Emily was horrified when she saw Jared standing there silently with both hands over his mouth, peering at the dead chicken. Emily didn't know whether to laugh, cry or vomit as she cried, “Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.” They looked for Cindy and found her hiding under the chicken coop. No way was she going to come out with a rabid weiner dog lurking about.
The Lyons figured they better get their kids out of there before they saw anything and they left for home, while Jared waited for us. When we got there, we all stood there mortified at the carnage and disgusted by our little dog! Obviously, Jared would have lost money had the bet been for real.
We managed to coax Cindy out of hiding, and I bravely picked her up and put her back in the coop. When I did, I noticed she was bleeding, and we found a good size chunk of her tail end missing. We were able to get a hold of Andrea and she advised us to “put her down.” Andrea was in the car with Megan, who also harbors chickens. I won’t explain their reaction here.
Unlike Weezer, Bud and Jared don’t have the killer instinct. They spent about 10 minutes debating the best technique for the surviving chicken’s demise. Neither wanted blood on their hands or clothes! I heard "ax, neck wringing, hoe, sledgehammer, etc, but upon seeing the tetherball in the backyard, I suggested garroting the poor thing. We looked for wire, but found a piece of rope instead.
Bud got a hold of Cindy by the neck and Jared attempted to get a rope around – no dice. In the frenzy of the moment, Bud just choked the poor chicken. He thought she looked pretty dead. I got a plastic garbage bag, and they put her inside. Bud stomped on the bag for good measure. Then they went to get the other chicken and toss her in the bag. Just when Bud tossed her in, out came flying Cindy! I was inside and heard Jared hollering hysterically – kind of a cross between revulsion and laughter. They let Weezer back outside, thinking she was better skilled to end things. I yelled at them to not let her do it – I didn’t want to further encourage her killer instinct. Finally, Bud got a hold of Cindy and held on to her neck for a good long time – til he was sure she had met the same fate as JoJo! Both chickens were then transported in the black plastic bag to a nearby dumpster – I found out later it was at the nearby Kindercare! Men have no regard for what is appropriate.
Needless to say – we are so very sorry Runyans! I apologized over and over. I had planned to have a big pot of chicken soup waiting in the fridge when they got home from Colorado, as a “thank you” for letting us use/abuse their home. I thought better of it! Maybe I should offer them Roy – our ceramic rooster who’s been sitting on our kitchen counter for 10+ years. I would, except I have him listed in our will for Micah. Micah would you consider donating Roy to the Runyans?